Discussion:
The Great-Empty Migration
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doubleV
2011-11-06 07:48:52 UTC
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In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes

The Great-Empty Migration

we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish

we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.

we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 15:21:04 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
=z=
2011-11-06 17:17:56 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
well, you know what they say...
if it smells like fish...
eat it...

(...and by the way matt, fuck you...)

=z=
George Dance
2011-11-06 18:59:44 UTC
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Post by =z=
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
well, you know what they say...
if it smells like fish...
eat it...
especially if it tastes like chicken.
Post by =z=
(...and by the way matt, fuck you...)
=z=
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 19:28:59 UTC
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Post by George Dance
Post by =z=
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
well, you know what they say...
if it smells like fish...
eat it...
especially if it tastes like chicken.
Post by =z=
(...and by the way matt, fuck you...)
=z=
Isn't chicken a universally assigned taste?
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 19:28:06 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by =z=
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -
well, you know what they say...
if it smells like fish...
eat it...
(...and by the way matt, fuck you...)
=z=
I don't know why you're telling me to fuck off.
You're the one that started in on me in the last
"fuck you" thread. If there's such a thing as conversational
bifocals, you need 'em.
doubleV
2011-11-06 18:40:44 UTC
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Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty& poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 19:21:33 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty&  poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that one matt dude.

911...it's urgent.

I don't really want to know...I have to know.
My salvation depends on it.
doubleV
2011-11-06 19:54:41 UTC
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Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty& poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that one matt dude.
911...it's urgent.
I don't really want to know...I have to know.
My salvation depends on it.
What's your name and address?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 20:06:04 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty&    poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that one matt dude.
911...it's urgent.
I don't really want to know...I have to know.
My salvation depends on it.
What's your name and address?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Why...you wanna suck my cock?.
doubleV
2011-11-06 20:12:45 UTC
Permalink
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Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty& poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that one matt dude.
911...it's urgent.
I don't really want to know...I have to know.
My salvation depends on it.
What's your name and address?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Why...you wanna suck my cock?.
no because this is 911 not 411
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 20:47:58 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty&      poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Is this farstar?
who wants to know?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
that one matt dude.
911...it's urgent.
I don't really want to know...I have to know.
My salvation depends on it.
What's your name and address?
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Why...you wanna suck my cock?.
no because this is 911 not 411
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
It is farstar...I found this thread with the same "subjugate the
rhythm" tag below:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.arts.poetry.comments/msg/c6207812ce333fc5

I see your IP address is Montana. It used to be TX. It went
from lonestar to farstar to double V although you were never really
a lonestar, you were always a farstar. Nobody from Texas moves
away from there unless they're in trouble or found a really good
paying job elsewhere...even then, they always move back.
Are you moving back? Just curious.

Ok...I'll drop the whole farstar thing. I would say 'welcome back'
but something tells me you're not here by choice. Writers
Block is rarely a place people come to by choice.

: )
that9one1matt1dude
2011-11-06 21:22:51 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty & poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Do you think it was really necessary to do the rEVOLVE thing
twice? I mean, my ADD side thanks you, but...

In the last stanza...what exactly is a "poor" gap. I understand
an empty one, but poor I need help with.

"we love as the oceans door".

Yep...farstar. A writer can change many things save his essence.
I remember all of those vague images mixed with many a play on
words. You write like I fish...you throw out a line and nothing ever
bites. But, it really wants to.

One thing I remember about your stuff is that I never get a voice.
I see the play on words and constant vague images but I don't feel
them. However, you want to submerge your reader because you
put a lot of time into reading and writing. But your IQ is something
separate from your writing. You need to stop writing smartass verse
and truly find your voice through your heart. Open up. I don't mean
open up where it's safe, either. Open up your heart and take real
risks.

If you stay the way you are, you'll remain intriguing and possibly
collect
a small cult following. But if you open up, you could be seriously
good.
Good to see ya.

: )
doubleV
2011-11-07 01:35:28 UTC
Permalink
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Post by that9one1matt1dude
Post by doubleV
In tribute to Dennis M. Hammes
The Great-Empty Migration
we swim as a fish
through space and time
we dance as a laugh dances
while watching the sunrise
to burn like the diurnal
as the world rEVOLVEs upright
before we break as a wave,
rolling of momentum uptight,
living as a ditch
unable to carry into afterlife
to finally own as a poem
owning like fountains overflowing with glowing stardust
we swim as a fish
we swim as a fish
inside waves of communicae
silicon tick-tocking
reading luminescent rays
with minds unwinding
ideas rise to play
pawing kinda softly
opening new avenue ways
and treading these threads
brings burning new days
and flamewars that flay your
newsreading sensibilitays
we swim as a fish swims.
we swim as a fish swims
about, above, below, behind, before
as the Earth rEVOLVEs and turns
our hearts beat and roar
but inside bodies, tiny body-minds
etching idea panelled doors,
The Great-Empty Migration-
filling the gap left empty& poor,
but briefly then leaving
through to the next score.
The Great-Empty Migration!
in filling the voids of lore-
we swim as a fish swims
we love as the oceans door
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
Do you think it was really necessary to do the rEVOLVE thing
twice? I mean, my ADD side thanks you, but...
In the last stanza...what exactly is a "poor" gap. I understand
an empty one, but poor I need help with.
"we love as the oceans door".
Yep...farstar. A writer can change many things save his essence.
I remember all of those vague images mixed with many a play on
words. You write like I fish...you throw out a line and nothing ever
bites. But, it really wants to.
One thing I remember about your stuff is that I never get a voice.
I see the play on words and constant vague images but I don't feel
them. However, you want to submerge your reader because you
put a lot of time into reading and writing. But your IQ is something
separate from your writing. You need to stop writing smartass verse
and truly find your voice through your heart. Open up. I don't mean
open up where it's safe, either. Open up your heart and take real
risks.
If you stay the way you are, you'll remain intriguing and possibly
collect
a small cult following. But if you open up, you could be seriously
good.
Good to see ya.
: )
All I have are my ideas, I don't have a heart
I write to work out my ideas, and express ideas.
I don't write to vent my emotions so much as vent my idea
My love is for ideas, I'm enslaved by ideas
and I'm marginalized because of ideas
while at the same time I'm free because of Idea(l)s
If I open up, that would just be saying make a relevant image, to me
wherein it's one I think is true or apt or otherwise relevant.
Is it along the lines where emotions are contagious, that if I am
able to express my emotions, in images no less, that other people will
find the emotion and echo/amplify it?

I am admittedly, still finding my own voice
but in the mean time I have fun writing and playing with words
I guess it's probably more important to have fun with what you're doing
than to impress other people. I do a lot of stupid shit that entertains
me and me alone to no end while some would laugh given a chance. I
figure I'll find it when it finds me or maybe mine just won't ever
translate through words until that day I'm heard spoken, somehow lost in
translation. Mayhaps I have one of those sublime voices that defy
definition. Ahh, to be sublime, tic

Alas, probably what it is, is that the poem is So contrived that there
really isn't any room for my voice to fit in. I tried in this poem to
do that very thing with the end rhyming lines, but it looks as though I
failed in that respect by trying to be too clever or smartass as you put
it. It does give me a break from being myself, as I'm me all day long
and enjoy just losing myself in the moment of creation.

thanks for the constructive criticism
--
Subjugate the rhyme and rock to the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm
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